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Published on December 28th, 2015 | by Flipside

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Flipside Reads Your Liberal Flatmate’s Blog So You Don’t Have To

Reports confirm that your liberal flatmate is a bit irked that you didn’t read their blog after you said you would.

After the last awkward conversation over breakfast before you went home for the holidays, you were said to have brought up a point about social mobility which your liberal flatmate didn’t agree with, particularly because you said their blog on the subject “raised good points” even though you never read it. This ended in a wordless goodbye which had bugged you as soon as you closed the door, adding to the anxiety of whether you left your light on or not (Update as of 1pm: you haven’t).

To relieve this feeling of unease, Flipside has prepared a Spark Notes version of your liberal flatmate’s blog. You can thank us later.

SUNDAY (or DAUGHTERDAY for all the non-sheeple)

Just realised that ‘feminism’ doesn’t have the letters ‘L’, ‘G’, ‘B’, or ‘T’ in it. My whole life has been a lie.

MONDAY

Dad was especially nice to me today. He took me to the cinema, bought me a meal, and made me an ice cream sundae made entirely out of gluten-free lentils, just like when I was a kid. Sure, he hasn’t made up for the genital mutilation in Sudan, but it’s his own small way of redeeming the patriarchy.

TUESDAY

Pretended to enjoy The Smiths again today.

WEDNESDAY

My letter writing campaign has finally paid off. John Lewis are now producing non-binary, non-gender-specific, non-heterocentric, non-homocentric, non-geometric baby clothes. It is a grey onesie with a flower that looks in pain. Love its baby game.

THURSDAY

Turns out I have carpal tunnel syndrome from frantically typing Instagram hashtags. My doctor has recommended painkillers and to limit myself to only 200 hashtags. It is proving difficult.

FRIDAY

Waited 3 hours in a queue of drunk, vomiting strangers only to find that the club was playing mainstream hits and commercialised media run by The Man. It was amazing.

SATURDAY

Thought about moving to Rwanda again. Kids there need education on how to use Tumblr properly. It’s the only effective way of overthrowing dictatorships. #NoMoreKimJongUn #PowerOfLove #OwMyHandHurts #CarpalTunnelsAreThePatriarchy

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