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Commentary

Published on April 29th, 2016 | by Flipside

0

Fourth Year Humanities Student Panics; Applies For Teacher Training

A fourth-year Humanities student has finally faced up to reality and applied for teacher training. 22 year-old history student Tom Coupar has told friends that all his dreams have been cruelly crushed in front of him, and he’s just now came to the realisation that he is over £50,000 in debt, and all he has really gained is the unnecessary knowledge of the Emperor Nero’s administration policies.

Coupar said, as the sweat and tears ran down his face, ’MY GOD! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!!!! I used to have hopes, dreams, I was going to travel the world, and my band was doing really well. We’d played Cab Vol for Christ’s sake! I was also in this play in second year which was nearly full one night! But now it is coming to an end. I have nothing. Absolutely. Nothing. £50,000 to do well in the history round of a pub quiz, as long as the questions are related to the period I studied! If only I was Scottish, then it would only be about £30,000! I realised last week there was nothing for it and I was left with two career options. And I don’t think I’m pretty enough to go on the game.’

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