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Local

Published on January 5th, 2016 | by Flipside

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Fragile Ecosystem Containing 800 New Species Discovered On Hive Ceiling.

(We know what you are thinking, none of them were Bees or mutant Bee hybrids, sadly).

Local Edinburgh club, The Hive, is a constant hang out for the coolest and classiest kids in town. Indeed, it was as busy as ever during the Festive period with thousands flocking to experience the magical wonderment of “Hive Till 5”. However, in recent days it has been buzzing with scientific activity, owing to the ecosystem discovered by 3rd year student Mike Mickelson.

Scientists have been swarming the scene ever since, like people who like honey around a honey pot. The ecosystem is located on the ceiling in the third chamber (the one with the shit but good music), it is apparently very fragile and may contain well over 800 new species of bacteria, fungi and microscopic insects.

“This is the most exciting and important scientific discovery since the God particle.” One scientist said, “This is the stuff careers are made of, I have been trawling the Amazon for years trying to find just a few new species, but there are so many here, who would have thought it? I mean with proper study of this we may begin to understand how life on Earth was able to come into existence. The ecosystem has its own atmosphere, made up largely of sweat, tears, regret and vomit vapour. It is truly amazing, life can exist in the most unlikely of places. This is Huge!”

The now (self proclaimed) explorer, Mike Mickelson, was also available for comment, “I am just a regular guy, I mean I was having a dance to Cotton Eyed Joe and was about to be sick, when looking for a secluded spot to do it in I looked up and just saw this weird looking thing on the ceiling, now this is Hive so I thought little of it and was sick in the corner. However my pal had forgotten his coat, so the next day we went to get it and I saw what we now know to be an ecosystem on the ceiling. I told my lecturer about it and he went to check it out and it turns out that it was a big deal. I just hope Hive is open again soon so me and the lads can get back on the lash!”

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