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Sports

Published on March 8th, 2014 | by Flipside

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French rugby team to perform ‘Big Cheese’ at Murrayfield

The French rugby team have announced that they will perform the ‘Big Cheese’ before their match against Scotland at Murrayfield this evening.

Philippe Saint-André, head coach of the French rugby union team said, “Having witnessed the supreme effectiveness of the ‘Haka’ performed by the New Zealand rugby team in instilling fear into their opponents, we feel it is time to follow suit.”

‘Le Grand Fromage’ is a traditional seventeenth century French Dance that involves making grotesque shapes to shit music in front of random strangers. In recent years the dance has been adopted for Student Association club nights at the University of Edinburgh.

A third year Philosophy student and self-confessed ‘Big Cheese veteran’ commented, “It’ll be amazing to see the dance performed by actual Frenchmen. My skill level is already pretty chat but it will be amazing to learn from the professionals.”

It is rumoured that the Scottish team will respond with an even greater number of bagpipes than usual. Scotland are riding a wave of form after their single victory of the tournament so far against Italy last month. However, obviously France are still favourites. In recent years Alex Salmond has discussed the possibility of Scotland declaring independence from the Six Nations, forming a new competition with themselves, in which only Scotland can be victorious/free.

It is unclear whether the French routine will feature VKs.

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