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Published on October 19th, 2013 | by Flipside

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Fresher ‘definitely’ going to pull at Big Cheese tonight

A University of Edinburgh fresher is incredibly excited because he is almost certain he is going to pull tonight at the Big Cheese.

James-John Westwick, from Falkirk, is attending the weekly EUSA club night at Potterrow with the Edinburgh University Men’s Hockey Team, and after chatting to his team-mates and assessing his chances, he is definitely going to pull someone at the Big Cheese.

“I’m not even sure if I’m hetero or homosexual to be honest. I just know I’m definitely going to pull somebody.”

Westwick’s confidence comes despite his lacklustre previous efforts. “Last week I thought I might pull. But this week I definitely know that I will. I’ll just find someone I like, buy them a Tropical VK and see where it goes. I’ve been working on my dance moves.” Westwick then proceeded to unload a series of moves not unlike David Brent.

Hannah Jones, a 4th year Biology student, is equally confident of her chances. “Yeah I mean, It depends how I feel, but If I’m not too tired by about half-two I’ll probably just find some guy who doesn’t look like a total prick and take him home. It’s not exactly hard; I’ll probably even get a free VK and a taxi ride out of it.”

Flipside doesn’t have many editorial lines, but it does heartily approve of all students hoping to get some action at le Grandé Fromage. Party on.

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