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Published on February 18th, 2014 | by Flipside

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Glasgow University students smugly wash their hands of NSA

The students of Glasgow University were heard to exert a smug sigh this afternoon, as they expressed joy in electing Edward Snowden as rector of the University; a role he cannot possibly fill because he is seeking asylum with the Putin regime in Russia, after leaking secrets about the US government’s secret PRISM network. The Putin government is well known for its unequivocal support for democracy and human rights.

The election of the NSA whistleblower means Glasgow University students can now go about their business, safe in the knowledge that they have truly done everything they can to fight the evils of the NSA, GCHQ, and the information state.

Jonny McTavish, a 3rd year Politics student at Glasgow said, “Some dafty nominated Graeme Obree, because he was keen to work with students, but that’s absolutely a loada bollocks. Instead we should obviously elect someone to make an almost non-existent political point and render the post meaningless.”

Charli Dalton, a 4th year Maths student, said, “I voted for him. He’s the good guy right?”

Peter McColl, the rector of Edinburgh University said, “I’m glad Snowden has been elected. He will continue the tradition in ancient Scottish Universities of questionable individuals becoming rector and doing absolutely fuck all.”

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