Published on October 10th, 2014 | by Flipside0
Grant House freshers waterboarded in CIA mix up
In a horrific bureaucratic mix up by the CIA, freshers in Grant House- popularly referred to as ‘Grantanamo Bay’- have been subjected to waterboarding.
Agents barged into residents’ rooms in the middle of the night and shined bright torches into their eyes before taking them to the communal bathroom, filling the baths and holding the freshers upside down.
Geology student Frank Mckay said: “I was having an early night before three huge Texans in suits and sunglasses came and dragged me into the bathroom. They started to call me a raghead and asked where Osama was hiding. I reminded them that Bin Laden was dead and they told me stop being ridiculous and flushed my head down the toilet.”
CIA Agent Phil Dallas apologised for the incident: “We are truly sorry for the inconvenience caused. Head office accidentally booked us a flight to Edinburgh. When we asked the taxi driver for Guantanamo Bay, he took us to the student accommodation. From the outside, we really couldn’t tell the difference.”