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Published on February 9th, 2018 | by Flipside

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Gregg’s Granted Official Religious Status In North of England

Breaking and finally good news:

In this world of despair and horrible things, sometimes some good creeps into the world. And the goodest of the good news is this, Gregg’s bakeries have been granted official religious status in the North of England.

After years of campaigning Gregg’s finally has the recognition it deserves, long have its hallowed walls been places of worship for every day folk. In times of trouble I myself have often turned to the caring Saint Steak Bake and it hath granted me peace and a fully belly to carry on my day with (unless it was fresh out the oven then it often burned my tongue).

Sarah Huddingtons, A spokesperson for the North of England said,

“This is bloody brilliant! finally I can go Gregg’s and say my prayers to Sausage Roll and people won’t think I am bonkers. Sausage Rolls have been there for all of us a lot more than other organised religions and I think we all know this is fact. We are compiling own cannon and the Gregg’s recipe book will sort of act as bible. Initially, people thought that putting a sausage roll in manger was joke, but our texts and researchers lead us to genuinely believe that Jesus may have been sausage roll himself. It makes sense if you really think about it.

We here at Flipside are rejoicing at the news and declare it the first thing Theresa May’s government have gotten right in well, ever.

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