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Published on November 10th, 2016 | by Flipside

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John Lewis Xmas Ad Gets Into Spirit Of 2016 With Dead Puppy

John Lewis’ much anticipated Christmas advertisement has been unveiled with the department store chain explaining the year of 2016 has been its muse.

John Lewis spokesperson, Lewis John, explained, ‘Our Christmas advertisements are always seen as a bit saccharine, over-sentimental, y’know a bit drippy. But that’s never the intention. We’ve always tried to convey a blackness as we explore the darkest recesses of the human condition. But it doesn’t get across to the general public. Take the one a couple years ago set during the First World War. Trench warfare, mud, disease, a million young British men alone dead, all to further imperial ambitions and create the Second World War! We even had the guy lose his chocolate, that being the final straw and subsequently shooting himself. But Ofcom wouldn’t let that bit stay in. Changed the theme completely.’

‘’Last year, perverted old man spies on child. Clear as day. But people see what they want to see.’

‘So this year we’ve gone nuclear. 2016 has been a right cunt let’s be honest. So we really had to raise the bar and we decided to be as a subtle as a brick in the face. Side-note: that was one potential theme for this year. But everyone loves dogs, especially puppies. So we killed one. A. Real. One. And filmed it! There is an important educational angle this year as well though. Remember air holes in the box. Otherwise little Poppy and Georgie will be getting a very nasty surprise when they open their present in the morning!’

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