Published on April 20th, 2016 | by Flipside0
Holocaust Denial Denial Discovered on Campus
[Warning: This article reports on anti-Semitic content. The views expressed here are reported verbatim from generalised fictional characters, and do not reflect the values of Edinburgh Flipside. Edinburgh Flipside prides itself on having at least one Jewish friend and is therefore “totally cool” to discuss the moronic concept of Holocaust denial.]
Recent data in the NUS poll has found that 98% of students are active deniers of Holocaust denial. Dr. Melvin Bee of the Department of Social Studies was alarmed by the results.
“Our studies have found that an overwhelming majority of students believe that the Holocaust was a genuine and horrifying event which actually happened. This is terrible. These results mean that 2% of students believe that the Holocaust wasn’t a thing.
“How can any university ranked in the top 20 higher education facilities in Europe allow students who don’t believe hard facts and evidence?”
Edward Iot, a known Holocaust denier, vice president of Edinburgh University Nose Pickers Alliance, and ex-chair of the Incest Rights Association, had this to say:
“There’s, like, *profuse coughing* no evidence or that for *vomits into mouth smiling* anything before 1985. Duhhhhh.”
When Flipside showed Ed Iot some easily accessible archive blueprints of Auschwitz from a simple Google search and pointed out the German word for ‘gas chamber’, he began scratching his greasy, semen-encrusted hair.
“Yeah, but, my Daddy says *fish noises* my Daddy says that an inhaler is a gas chamber so that’s not what that means.”
Ed Iot went on to hit his head against a tree for a bit. When our reporter left from the office to go home via the meadows 3 hours later, Ed Iot was still hitting his head against a tree, mumbling something about how Trump seems like a great guy and he hoped Library Cat was dead.