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Commentary

Published on October 22nd, 2013 | by Flipside

0

Home Office Van: I’m not racist but…

Look, I’ve been in the news a lot lately and I’m sick of it. I’ve been judged based on what I’m wearing and not what I think, and I reckon that’s not fair.

Just because I want the illegal immigrants to go home, it don’t make me racist. I’m not racist, some of my best friends have seen black people before, and they never abused them or nothing. I’m an upstanding, hard working van.

I don’t know a lot, I’m not like these fancy Guardian reading Smart cars who keep ripping on me, I’m a down to earth Van. But I do know what I know, and I know that these immigrants keep coming over and taking our jobs. Like these American lorrys, and German beetles, and Audis. Taking our women, and making weird mixed-up motorcycles. It’s well out of order.

If I came across one of them immigrants, I’d ram it’s head in. It’d be good VANter. Not cause I’m racist, but because they’re stealing all our taxes.

We need to kick all these illegal immigrants out, it’s not racist, it’s just common sense innit. So I’m not a racist. There. I showed you, you Morrissey-book-reading-pricks.

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