Published on December 2nd, 2013 | by Flipside0
Hugh Murdoch releases Christmas album
To show that he is not averse to merriment and joy, a tired but emotional Hugh Murdoch yesterday emerged from Biblos to present his Christmas Album on the steps of Old College.
Hugh said, “I’ve been working ever since my election on this.” Interrupted briefly by a shout of, “That explains a lot!”; he continued, “I think if we can shift a few of them we can probably fix the budget and my salary.”
Timothy O’Shea, in his Greggs-sponsored Santa outfit, gave his support for the scheme. VP Haigh was less enthusiastic, “It goes completely against EUSA as a pro-feminist establishment. I demand that Santa be replaced by an androgynous robot – it looks like we’re pro a male-centric holiday which subjugates women to the kitchen” – “Where they belong,” added Hugh.
The Album includes soon to be cult classics:
1. Ding Dong! Merrily on high. (This has been banned in all EUSA establishments for promoting ‘Lad Culture’. “It clearly supports drugs,” said VP Alex Munyard.)
2. Away block-booking, no crib for a bed.
3. It’s beginning to look a lot like EUSA. Everywhere you Go!
And many, many more.
To celebrate the launch, Hugh gave us an exclusive stripped-back, acoustic rendition of one famous chorus:
God rest you merry, women,
Let nothing you dismay,
For Sarah Mehdi our Savior
Was born upon this day,
To save us all from Conservative power
When we were gone astray:
O tidings of EUSA and joy,
EUSA and joy,
O EUSA of comfort and joy.