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EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY STUDENTS ASSOCIATION (EUSA) ▼-2005.21
ALEX SALMOND’S HAIR ▼ 230.067
CONSERVATIVE & UNIONIST NATIONAL TWEED CO (CUNT) ▲69.99
LADS, INC (LAD)▲1783.44
NATIONAL ASSOCIATION ZOCIALIST, INC (NAZI)▼2.48
BEDLAM THEATRE GROUP (BT) ▲ 5.74
EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY CREDIBILITY (UC) ▼ 1.000567
PETER HIGG’S SWAG ($G) ▲∞
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MILEY CYRUS EDINBURGH FAN CLUB (TWERK)▲ 42.67
DIRECTION OF NOSES UPON MENTION OF EDINBURGH NAPIER (NOZ) ▲ 90.00
EXAM PERFORMANCE IN MCEWAN HALL (STARE) ▼ 11.000567
TEVIOT CHIPS (SHIT)▼ 56.23

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Published on September 29th, 2014 | by Flipside

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Fresher protests lack of towel warmers in Halls

A first year student has railed against the inadequate living conditions offered by his University run halls of residence.

Jackson Sinclair, who studies Economics and Philosophy, spoke out out after the shocking discovery that his towel rails are pre-industrial.

He said, “I am a huge fan of camping, I have been to Cornwall twice, but this is another level.

“I know Holland isn’t John Burnett, but even in my disappointment at not getting my first choice accommodation, I had still hoped that the basic facilities for survival would be in place. I was wrong.”

Others have echoed Sinclair’s complaints, with students on Twitter calling the situation “unbearable” and “manky”.

It is believed that towels in Holland House have been developing a mouldy smell, as they have been unable to be dried effectively. Commentators are already comparing this humanitarian disaster to the Israel-Gaza conflict.

Edinburgh University Students’ Association (EUSA) President Briana Pegado said, “Both these crises follow a similar pattern. In the case of the towels, just as they are drying they become wet again. EUSA hopes that both these conflicts can be resolved in a way that fits within our mandate.”

Several students have begun towel strikes in support of Sinclair’s plea. Doctors have warned of the health risks of this action, including pneumonia and Ebola.

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