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Politics

Published on March 19th, 2016 | by Flipside

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Iain Duncan Smith resigns so he can personally attack the disabled with his own hands.

In the midst of the resignation of Iain Duncan Smith, has arisen the question of why? Why resign when he was doing such an exceptional job of degrading and disenfranchising disadvantaged people all across Britain? Flipside had to find out, so we tracked IDS to a remote location and grilled him as to why he would quit when things were all going so well.

This is what he said, “Look, I know my policies were brutal, I know they were sadistic, and I know how close they were to achieving some pretty amazing things with regards to expanding the gap between rich and poor. However, it just wasn’t enough anymore. I hate people on benefits so much. And through Government policy the process of hurting them was just too slow. It wasn’t achieving the levels of humiliation and brutal degradation I really wanted.

So, I have resigned, meaning I can now personally go and attack people on benefits by myself. It is so freeing, yesterday I pushed over three people in wheel chairs, kicked a homeless man in the face, and burned down a council estate. Life is so sweet! I can finally do it, the Tories are great and their ambitions to fuck everyone but the super-rich are things I am really behind. But personally nothing beats the feeling of beating the money out of someone who doesn’t have anything with your own hands.”

Flipside would like to conclude that Ian Duncan Smith is a cunt.

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