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Politics

Published on November 13th, 2014 | by Flipside

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“If I had invaded the Ukraine, you would know about it,” says Putin

Russian sources yesterday denied that Russia had invaded Ukraine, with Russia Today saying, “No, no, definitely not.”

NATO broke the news of Russian tanks and heavy artillery crossing the Ukrainian border, accompanied by unmarked Russian soldiers.

Russian President Vladimir Putin has been reluctant to confirm military action, simply stating, “If I had invaded the Ukraine, you would know about it,” with an accompanying enigmatic shrug.

Putin later echoed these remarks on his twitter and facebook pages, using the hashtag #status and a winking emoji.

Upon contacting a representative at the Kremlin about these accusations, Flipside was given the reply: “Hmmm… That really doesn’t sound like us. Does it seem like us? It really isn’t something we’d ever do.”

Flipside replied with the overwhelming and mounting data that troops and tanks are actually already in eastern Ukraine, to which their only reply was: “What is Ukraine?”

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