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Politics

Published on March 8th, 2016 | by Flipside

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“ISIS all gone a bit quiet” Claim non-Syrian news sources

Several global news sources based outside of Syria have recently not reported on any of the terrorist group’s recent activity. ISIS haven’t done anything bad lately, they reported, unless you’re in Syria where they are still regularly fighting and beheading people, and destroying priceless pieces of cultural heritage. Other than that though, they’ve been pretty tame.

“I had honestly forgotten that ISIS was still a problem,” said the chief editor of BBC news. The Guardian claimed that “Donald Trump is the new ISIS, and the old ISIS have to up their game if they want coverage.”

NBC and CNN were similarly caught up in Trump fever, and have dubbed the current dearth of terrorist activity a period of ‘ISIS and chill’. Meanwhile, Syrian news sources continued to release articles and videos of homophobic attacks, beheadings, ethnic cleansing, orphaned children soldiers killing infidels and the destruction of priceless ancient temples.

Fortunately, all of this coverage comes directly from Syria and the surrounding area, so the good news most is that most of us don’t have anything to worry about for the moment!

In related news, earlier today a man in London buttered a croissant that was already advertised as ‘all butter’, an act described in the ISIS manifesto as ‘the ultimate symbol of the decadent west’.

 

 

 

 

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