Published on June 27th, 2016 | by Flipside0
George Osborne found hiding in massive pile of cocaine
The nation has finally stopped searching for George Osborne after he was found hiding in a massive pile of cocaine. The search began two days ago after Osborne disappeared following the referendum result. The general public became concerned as Osborne hadn’t been around to shut down any hospitals or schools in the last few days. There were also concerns about the possibility of no longer being led by Osborne and his unparalleled economic expertise.
Osborne was located his morning under an enormous pile of his favourite class-A drug, cocaine. The escapade was said to be Osborne just blowing off some steam, and not at all because everything is fucked and it is all his fault.
Sources close to the Chancellor have said he is distraught at the demise of his best friend’s, David Cameron, political career. There has been some speculation as to whether Osborne had disappeared to put out feelers for his leadership bid, but with the whole nation behind his inevitable future as prime minister, Osborne has little to worry about.