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Politics

Published on September 30th, 2015 | by Flipside

0

“Jamaica Should Move On From Totally In The Past Slave Issues”, Says Man-Who Fucked-Pig.

Prime Minister Man-Who Fucked-Pig (formerly known as David Cameron) has recently called for Jamaica and other countries to “move on” from the issues of slavery, despite acknowledging it was “Kind of a big deal I suppose,”

Mr Fucked-Pig tried to move away from the issue of Slavery really being anything to do with Britain. He stated that, “Despite playing a bit part role in the whole slavery thing, Britain basically made it stop, for good, nope slavery really isn’t a thing today, we finished it, for good.  Yes, we may have gained little bits and pieces from it, but we did stop it. It is like that Billy Joel song, we didn’t start the fire, it was always burning”

Flipside told Fucked-Pig that we were aware of the song and he could stop singing.

He added, “it isn’t like historically it was that bad, we may have had slaves, but the empire brought people good British things, like civilisation, law, Harry Potter, tea, Victoria sponge, good British ideals. In return we got some land and some money, all a pretty fair trade if you ask me, by the standards of the time at least… ”

When asked if he was trying to say Empire was a good thing, Mr M.W.Fucked-Pig said, “Not exactly, I mean this isn’t a black and white issue, well I mean it was kind of a black and white issue, but…..”

M.W.Fuck-Pig is a faster runner than he looks.

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