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Politics

Published on February 2nd, 2016 | by Flipside

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Jeremy Corbyn Moves into Migrant Camp

After visiting the migrant camp in Calais, dubbed ‘the Jungle’, Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn has decided that the desperate and inhumane migrant lifestyle is much more in keeping with his own political ideals than the vastly divided land of Britain.

“They’re fair, they’re equal, crime rates are low and they’re not relying on a brutal, neoliberal capitalist system to make their society work”, Corbyn said, peeking his head out from a makeshift tarpaulin hovel.

He added: “I like it here. The people are friendly, none of my colleagues are trying to betray me and there is no print media to mock my earnestness. Certainly no one here expects me to provide leadership, and the drug gangs make it much easier to score hash. Kidding, I lived in Islington before”

When quizzed on their feelings about their new neighbour, the migrants unanimously agreed that now Corbyn was with them and Britain was being destroyed by a xenophobic Tory government, none of them really want to come here anyway.

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