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Published on October 7th, 2013 | by Flipside

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Judy Murray to receive Honorary Degree for expert Breeding Skills

The University of Edinburgh is to award Judy Murray, mother of Andy and the other one, whatever his name is, with an honorary degree for breeding a really good tennis player and another professional tennis player.

A spokesperson from the University announced, “In the great tradition of a University once attended by Charles Darwin, before he realised that the course feedback was really bad, we honour the passing on of great genes from generation to generation.”

“The University of Edinburgh’s passion for breeding never ceases, from our solid performance in the University sex tables, to the debauchery of Potterrow, from those mutant dinosaur soldiers that we’re breeding for the British army in King’s buildings, to that article about eugenics in the Student the other week. Breeding is a huge part of Edinburgh University, and we will continue to honour it.”

Hard Left-wing student groups are protesting the honorary degree. A group which claimed it did not have a name, and definitely didn’t organise elections together, but may or may not exist and definitely loves Trotsky released a statement written in Lego. After we worked it out, Flipside thinks it said, “This is a blatant reward of privilege and aristocracy. It’s disgusting and we’re angry.”

We approached Judy Murray for comment but she just scowled at us for ages, before muttering something about improving our backhand.

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