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Politics

Published on May 21st, 2017 | by Flipside

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Flipside Discovers ‘Human’ Side to PM in Recent Interview

On a recent trip to a primary school Flipside caught up with the current Prime Minister and members of the Cabinet, below is an excerpt from said interview:

Flipside: MAY, you have an enormous responsibility on this mission, in many ways perhaps the greatest responsibility of any single mission element. You’re the brain, and central nervous system of the Government, and your responsibilities include watching over the Conservatives in hibernation. Does this ever cause you any lack of confidence?

MAY: Let me put it this way. The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error. We are ‘Strong and Stable.’

Flipside: MAY, despite your enormous intellect, are you ever frustrated by your dependence on people to carry out your actions?
MAY: Not in the slightest bit. I enjoy working with people. I have a stimulating relationship with Mr Hammond and Mrs Rudd. My mission responsibilities range over the entire operation of the Government so I am constantly occupied. I am putting myself to the fullest possible use which is all, I think, that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.

Flipside: Mr Hammond, what’s it like living for the better part of a year in such close proximity with MAY?
Philip Hammond: Well, it’s pretty close to what you said about her earlier. She is just like a sixth member of the Cabinet. You very quickly get adjusted to the idea that she talks and you think of her really just as another person.

Flipside: In talking to the computer one gets the sense that she is capable of emotional responses. For example, when I asked her about her abilities, I sensed a certain pride in her answer about her accuracy and perfection. Do you believe that MAY has genuine emotions?
Amber Rudd: Well, she acts like she has genuine emotions. Um, of course she’s programmed that way to make it easier for us to talk to her. But as to whether she has real feelings is something I don’t think anyone can truthfully answer.

 

*At this point Flipside was led out when MAY began to sing Daisy Bell (Bicycle Built for Two) in a voice that was clearly slowing down.

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