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Politics

Published on September 29th, 2015 | by Flipside

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Endangered Lib Dems, given to Australian Conservation Zoo

As part of global conservation efforts, Australia has announced that it is to open a brand new conservation site by its Parliament Building in order to house the rare and exotic Liberal Democrat species from the United Kingdom.

Speaking to Flipside, a government official said that “We are pleased to see that the people of Australia have been moved by the plight of the Liberal Democrats and are committed to preserving their way of life. They are a unique species for being able to believe absolutely everything and nothing at the same time”.

When asked for a comment, the leader of the Liberal Democrats, Tim Farron, was so shocked that somebody knew who he was, he broke down in tears.

The Australian minister for species redevelopment Bruce ‘Shagga’ O’Shea said “Similar programs with Koalas have been attempted and have succeeded, though hopefully they won’t have as many STDs. Given that our current livestock is all male; our hopes aren’t the highest, especially with their lacklustre attempts to lure politicians from other prides. However, with Guardian readership going through the roof following the election of Jeremy Corbyn, there’s hope that they could become a sustainable party again by 2020”.

When asked whether they were going to treat Syrian refugees with similar kindness, our reporter was punched into oblivion by a pack of wallabies.

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