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Published on November 17th, 2013 | by Flipside

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Library attendees made uneasy by sight of empty pod

Edinburgh University library attendees were made uneasy this weekend when a number of students passed a suspiciously empty pod on the ground floor of the University library.

Looking for an explanation, Edinburgh University Students’ Association was contacted to submit a comment. Their official statement was “just say we shrugged because we really have no clue”.

“Essay season, plus exams coming up, PLUS the free heat… it just doesn’t make any sense,” Vice President of Academic Affairs, Alex Munyard added. “There was probably someone just laying down on the bench bit.”

Many others have voiced concern at the impossible spectacle. Students believe it to be a cruel hoax by the University during this stressful deadline season, so some students have discounted this theory because ‘we know it’s bullshit, so I’m not sure who the fuck they think they’re fooling.’ Others believe that ‘one of those assholes who takes the whole thing for themselves might’ve gone to the toilet or something.’

After examining data from this period of the time over the past decade, the statistics showed that ‘every fucking pod will be rammed til January’ necessitating no further investigation.

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