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Published on March 9th, 2018 | by Flipside

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“Like We Said The Last Time, This Won’t Happen Again”- Boris Warns Russia…

Following the use of a nerve agent to poison former Russian spy, Sergei Skripal, and his daughter, Yulia Skripal, Boris Johnson has warned Russia that “like the last time, this won’t happen again.”

The parallel he was drawing was to the 2006 poisoning of Alexander Litvinenko, another ex-Russian spy who was also mysteriously poisoned.

“Golly, goodness, gosh, the pattern is worrying, isn’t it?” Bumbled Boris Johnson, UK Secretary for Muppets (not the fun puppet kind), “But we are very well determined to put an end to sneaky, scheming Russia meddling in our affairs. We are going to take a robust response, what do I mean by that? You know, robust, robust like a good servant boy from India when you use him as a table, or like the firm buttocks of a….” (we felt we could not print what he said next…it didn’t go where you would have thought and you really don’t want to know where it did).

Theresa May backed up Boris by saying, “Brexit means, Brexit”, and repeated it eighteen times before being carried out by her peers.

Flipside asked the Kremlin for a response to these comments, all we got was laughter down the phone, not evil stereotyped Bond villain laughter, just wow they must be idiots, laughter.

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