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Commentary

Published on January 5th, 2016 | by Flipside

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Liking Justin Bieber is cool now, claim middle-aged men

Middle-aged men across Britain are coming together to demand that Justin Bieber be respected for his artistic skill and contribution to the music industry. Being a Belieber in the past was shunned, only a done thing if you were a pre-teen, but now it is cool, it is claimed.

George Lennox, 48, from Morningside, attributes his new fan base, amongst himself, to his new criminal record, tattoos and new R&B, urban pop sounds.

Lennox commented, ‘I was driving home late from work, the other day when to my surprise the Archers came on Radio 4. My wife doesn’t let me listen to it without out her so I switched station. I suddenly was hit by the funky new sounds of What Do You Mean? with its tropical synths and Justin’s gentle confused voice. I had an existential crisis: What did this mean? I had never liked Justin before but his demands for romantic clarity made me into the Belieber that I am today.’

The self-flagellation of ‘Purpose’, Justin’s latest album, has inspired many middle-aged men, like George Lennox, to do some soul-searching.

Bob Tucker also confessed, ‘The album really has come to mean a lot to me. Justin clearly reconnected with his soul by sitting down and pondering the meaning of life,  ‘Purpose’ was the result. It’s obviously an apology, to his fans, for his behaviour. Justin needn’t apologise, though, who doesn’t make mistakes? We all get a little lost sometimes and get arrested for reckless driving, smile in a mugshot, throw eggs at our neighbours and drive after having a few drinks, a joint and popping some prescription drugs. It just makes him, even more, relatable.’

Meanwhile after being arrested again, Chris Brown is set for a similar comeback.

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