Published on November 11th, 2016 | by Flipside0
Lizard Illuminati Overlords: ‘What the fuck did you people do?!’
THE ARCTIC BUNKER NEAR RY’LEH – In their first public appearance since the US Presidential Election, our Illuminati Lizard Overlords have issued their disbelief over the results.
‘What the fuck did you people do?’ Crasicisusicus the All-Seeing One said to a room full of press and fellow puppeteers of the world. ‘We let you sheep have control for one election and you choose the Human Vodka-Gatorade Cocktail? Why do you think we exist? To prevent bullshit like this! Who did this? Worldwide Jewish Conspiracy did you have something to do with this?’
The leader of WJC shook their heads and began shouting at the 9/11 Architects for letting it get this far. ‘What about you Cyber-Hitler? Did you let this happen?’ another Lizard shouted above the rabble. Cyber-Hitler and Walt Disney’s brain began fighting amongst the Cthulu Cultists. The green skinned reptile man then addressed this reporter directly, ‘and don’t try to pin this on us, alright? Our candidate was on the ticket!’ He then lowered his tone, ‘personally I blame the government agency that monitors everyone’s thoughts, they should’ve seen this coming.’
Suddenly from the back of the room two men in black suits yell, ‘Our polls were wrong! We didn’t want this! We just wanted to harass Jeff Ferris of Hartford, Connecticut!’ The Lizard overlord responded by hissing loudly and eating their brains. This reporter left the bunker while the secret societies of the world fought to figure how to keep it from burning.