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Published on February 1st, 2018 | by Flipside

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Local Woman Finds Stone In Shoe: Gets Archaeology Degree From Edinburgh Napier…

Breaking News:

This morning local woman, Sarah Allan, was walking down Nicholson Street on her way to work. As she reached the Tesco Metro she became aware that her foot was in dull but annoying pain. Allan stopped to remove the shoe and learned that the source of the pain was a little stone which she held up to her eye as if to say, “what a little bastard you are”. She was just about to throw away the “Little bastard” when suddenly she found herself surrounded by the entire archaeological department of Edinburgh Napier. They begged that she allow them to examine the stone and they were astounded to learn that the stone was nearly 25 years old and had possibly come from as far away as fife. In almost the same instant Sarah Allan was awarded a degree in Archaeology from the university.

“The stone was ancient” commented Mr (yes Mr) Gregg Hisltilpuffulwhatile, “nearly as old as Napier itself and as we all know that is very very old. 1965 was a long time ago ok. We are so excited to have it and it is literally going to be the cornerstone of our new departmental buildings (we are not sure exactly what this means). I cannot say thank you enough for what Miss Allan has done.

Flipside also caught up with Miss Allan who commented:

“It has certainly been a whirlwind day, not really sure how that all happened. I wouldn’t have thought that 25 years old is that old for a stone, or really counts as archelogy, but I medicine at Manchester so what would I know really.”

When asked if she would be accepting the degree Miss Allan replied:

“Erm, after some googling, the answer is no.”

This comes as a mighty blow to the Napier Archelogy department, as Miss Allan’s addition would have made her the first doctor ever to work in the school or indeed the entire “institution” of Napier.

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