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Commentary

Published on December 30th, 2016 | by Flipside

0

Malicious Rumours to Spread About Teresa May in 2017 (Part 1)

She one of the internets most prominent Five Nights at Freddies slash fiction writers

She once used government funds to build a ginger bread house in the sherwood forest, supposedly to make more affordable housing instead she uses it to lure and eat children.

A dark fog sits below her pillow that talks to her in her sleep.

She can’t always remember what the shadow creature says but all she knows is that it pleases her.

She has another shadow creature called Walrider who’s current purpose is unknown

Her sex dungeon can only be described as tacky cheap and lacking of adequate catering and entertainment.

She always wear black tights to hide her tenticals.

After watching an episode of Harry and Paul she was disappointed to learn that the kitten stomper is not a real invention, so she has invested £40000 to manufacture such a device.

She has neither preference for red or white wine.

Instead she prefers to drink children’s tears from the skull of a goat through a silly straw.

She has no friends

Those who stand near her can occasionally hear the faint sound of stones moving against each other this is presumed to be her heart beating.

After she starting playing bioshock infinite she liked father comstock’s ideology so much she now wants to turn London into a floating sky city so she can freely persecute whoever she likes.

Although hating the protagonists of the same game she was surprised to find that booker dewit could also summon a murder of flesh eating crows at will.

Like Thatcher, she uses 1984 as a manual on how to run a country.

 

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