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Published on March 24th, 2017 | by Flipside

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Man Encouraged By Woman’s Total Silence: ‘No News is Good News’

A man is currently in a state of denial over the effect of the creepy messages he continuously sends a woman on Messenger.

Regarding conversation topics such as penis size as ‘banter’, the man has now started having imaginary discussions with the intended recipient. A departure from the previous tactic of sending numerous messages simply saying ‘hey’, ‘how are you’ and, ‘are you awake?’ over a period of six months.

The current expectation is that an unwanted and badly lit dick pic is only a matter of weeks away.

The man commented, ‘women find me irresistible. Plus I reckon that if I mass pest every woman I’ve ever come into contact eventually I’ll get a response? Right? Plus the fact that they might even look that them is enough, really this purely comes from a desperate need for female attention due to my mum deciding to cruelly stop hand washing my toes when I was 14. Plus, you know what they say, no news is good news. I’m sure she’s just too busy. Such a bitch’

When asked for her opinion on the matter, the woman responded, ‘I never look in the junk file.’

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