Published on May 27th, 2016 | by Flipside0
Man. Utd Appoint Kezia Dugdale As New Manager
In a move that many have expected to be announced this week, Manchester United finally confirmed that their new manager will be former Scottish Labour Party leader Kezia Dugdale. Dugdale has an impressive record at the top of British football, but has been out of work since watching her disappointing Labour team come third in the Scottish elections this month. It is believed United were willing to wait for her to become available, and were unwilling to get rid of Louis van Gaal until they knew she was willing to talk.
Dugdale briefly managed Real Betis in the Spanish league, guiding them to fourth place, before taking over at Scottish Labour, and is excited to renew her rivalry with Pep Guardiola, now her cross-town rival. “To be honest, I’ve been fighting against Ruth Davidson and Nicola Sturgeon the last couple of years – Pep and Jurgen should be a doddle”, she announced. Man. U have a long history of successful Scottish managers (and also David Moyes), and have high hopes for Dugdale’s reign.
In the wake of Dugdale’s exit, the Scottish Labour Party is struggling for appropriate leadership candidates; they lost out on Brendan Rodgers to Celtic, and Rafa Benitez is staying at Newcastle. But Flipside can exclusively reveal that after his failed tenure at Real Sociedad, Moyes is still looking for a new challenge, and is interested in the position.