Published on October 26th, 2015 | by Flipside0
Debates Union No-Platforms debating
The University of Edinburgh Debates Union has generated controversy this week following their decision to no-platform all groups and individuals that no-platform other speakers in an act of solidarity with the UK free-speech campaign.
Rather confusingly, this has meant that none of the Debates Union’s members are allowed to speak at any of their events as they have now no-platformed themselves.
Speaking to Flipside, the Head of Facetious Hot-Air, John Rufflesby the Third, said “During our bi-weekly committee meeting, we realised that whilst free speech is under attack, our society must not rest in protecting it. Naturally, we decided to bring out the heavy guns, Hume, Rousseau and Nietzsche, which revealed to us that in order to be tolerant, we had to be intolerant of the intolerant, which led us to realise that in being intolerant, we’re absolutely intolerable human beings who should be stopped from speaking”.
Due to the meditative silence that now accompanies the Debates Union’s meetings; the Union has been accused of being held captive by Buddhism society entryists who claim that debating through silence is the only true path to enlightenment.
When interviewed by Flipside, ordinary students were quick to explain that while normally they didn’t mind Debates Unions members, they felt that their need to quote 18th century philosophers when picking their Sainsbury’s £3 meal deal sandwich was taking the piss a bit too much.
When approached for a statement on the matter, EUSA staff gave our reporter shocked looks before ushering us out the door. Speaking under condition of anonymity, Sabbatical officer ‘Randy Deal’ said “Listen, we’ve been doing quite well recently. Apart from Urte’s recent tapas rampage, everybody seems to be quite pleased with us so we’re not too keen to get caught up in something like this. Can you just make up a story about how I didn’t buy a round of shots at Boteco or something? Would a tenner help?”.
Attempts to get a statement from the Diagnostic Society, Edinburgh University’s oldest debating society, ended in unfortunate failure as attempts to interview their members produced only muffled groaning, as their heads were stuck up their collective arses.