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Sports

Published on February 9th, 2016 | by Flipside

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Murray ‘not disappointed’ with arrival of first born child

Andy Murray has stated ‘the result is the main thing’ when asked how he felt about becoming a father for the first time. Speaking to Flipside in a post-birth interview, a visibly tired Murray said, ‘If I’m being honest…it went on longer than I was hoping for. In the practice sessions we were aiming to get it done in half the time…but it got a bit sloppy…and we had to really grit our teeth and push on through….So we’ll sit down and watch the tapes and see where improvements can be made for the next time.’

It is also understood Andy’s wife, Kim Sears, was once again the centre of controversy, as she embarked on a torrent of expletives which left one of the nurses in floods of tears. Andy continued, ‘Y’know she got caught up in the moment…we all do at times…I myself had a few harsh words to say to myself about the way I cut the umbilical cord. But in the end I managed to harness her description of me as a ‘harbinger of fuckin’ vaginal doom’ to be a great motivator.

Murray finished by saying, ‘I feel like celebrating tonight, so I’m going to have a night in and start up a Stirling Albion league on Football Manager.’

Kim finished by expressing her joy,’*******************!!!!’.

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