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News

Published on April 27th, 2018 | by Flipside

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New Royal Baby Named ‘Oh God Please Never Become King’, After Grandfather

After much tension, consideration and second guessing from the media, the new Royal Baby has finally been given a name. 

Named after his esteemed grandfather, whom it was recently confirmed will one day be leader of the Commonwealth, little baby Oh God Please Never Become King is fifth in line to the throne.

His grandfather, Prince Fucking Hell We Really Hope He Never Becomes King, was delighted with the announcement, saying he hopes that this leads to a spate of babies born with the same name, both at home and, “Among the former colonies of browns and yellows, who still look up to us in Britain as a bastion of sophistication and civility.”

Reports claim that the Royal couple toyed with several names before finally settling on Oh God Please Never Become King – though we are told he’ll be ‘Oggy’ for short. These included ‘Ginger Nazi Armband,’ after his uncle, ‘State Visit to Make Other Countries Like Us’, which was his father’s preferred choice, or the family name ‘We Bring in Loads of Money From Tourism, Promise.’

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