Published on October 16th, 2015 | by Flipside0
New Study Shows She’s Definitely Not Calling You Back.
In a breaking new report published by your friends, studies show that your ex is not going to respond to your drunken 2am ‘I mss you’ texts.
Scientists (your flatmates studying Chemistry) are baffled as to what results you expected. ‘Our research analysts are gobsmacked,’ the research head told Flipside. ‘Your hypothesis: maybe she’ll call, was misguided from the start.’
A survey conducted by your friends provided the possible solutions to to revise your work:
25% think you should stop checking your phone and hit this bong.
11% believe you were too good for her.
40% you believe that she was too good for you.
24% support doing this shot RIGHT NOW.