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Entertainment

Published on March 14th, 2014 | by Flipside

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News bored of flood victims suffering

The news coverage of the floods started out like a fast flowing river; clean, pure, and forging a new direction within the British news world. But it would appear this river of news has stagnated into a pond filled with sewage, much like the current state of the counties of Somerset or Surrey.

No one wants to cover the floods any more, and Flipside were confused as to why. It’s not like the flooding has gone away; much of the south of England is still submerged in seriously damaging water and people’s lives don’t look like going back to normal any time soon.
However in an interview with the BBC’s James Jameson, Flipside learned a lot about news reporting.

“The floods aren’t news anymore!” he said as he quaffed some Claret at 2pm. “Now you Flipside guys are going to have to learn that suffering is only interesting as long as it is new or different. People get bored of hearing about depressing things, they only really want to hear it once or twice over a two week period; past that people just couldn’t give a shit. And as the BBC news team, we owe people the news they wan – it needs to be fresh and exiting at all times, even if that involves totally ignoring important issues.”

“Why do you think we hardly ever cover African poverty? Or only pay attention to the Middle East when a British citizen dies there? It’s not like these places just stop existing when nothing outrageous is happening, they just aren’t very interesting. And frankly the flood victims and their stories are boring now; I am bored of it, the BBC are bored of it, and the British public don’t give a fuck. So fuck the flood victims, it will be summer soon and the problem will be solved. Deal with it. Jameson out!”

Flipside felt they had a lot to learn about news coverage after our meeting with Mr Jameson, so we have decided to shut down operations forthwith.

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