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Entertainment

Published on September 16th, 2015 | by Flipside

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Nicola Sturgeon teases referendum sequel

The First Minister of Scotland Nicola Sturgeon has begun the pre-production marketing campaign for her follow-up to last year’s ‘The Referendum’, but stresses that the project is in its early stages.

“What ‘The Referendum’ did for the polling box office in Scotland was truly sensational,” states a particularly preppy Sturgeon. “I’m not saying a sequel is definitely happening, but I am saying that I have sod all else to do in my position.”

Details for the film are scarcer than those of who owns the North Sea oil, with SNP officials uncertain of the picture’s story. Some claim the film will follow the previous entry’s protagonist, Alex Salmond, as he scowls out of a slightly smaller window (for budgetary reasons), whilst others state that Sturgeon’s film will act as a rebooted remake of the original with slightly fewer scenes of hope.

“We are still in talks with many actors and actresses, but we are searching for someone who can embody both Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sandi Toksvig to play myself,” Sturgeon continues, still annoyingly preppy. “I don’t want to give away too much, but the opening will hopefully involve Peter Capaldi regenerating into me.”

On the subject of casting, it is understood that Mel Gibson and Mike Myers have not yet been contacted to reprise their roles as William Wallace and Fat Bastard respectively. A recent survey found that the majority of Scots are “pretty fine with this”.

However, all may not be hopeful for the tentatively titled ‘The Referendum Part II: Electric Booglasgoo’, as former Labour leader turned film critic for Napier News, Ed Milliband, discusses.

“The first ‘Referendum’ may have garnered popularity, but it only got 45% on Rotten Tomatoes, which apparently is enough to make an independent film, but somehow not an independent country?!.”

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