Published on August 27th, 2013 | by Flipside0
“No more whining” by An Upturned Plug
“Ooooh ow. It’s the most painful thing ever.” Do you know what? Bullshit. The most painful thing in the world is listening to you fucking twats moaning because of your inability to recognise that YOU ARE THE FUCK UPS THAT MAKE IT HAPPEN.
Actually scrap that. You’re right. Inanimate objects are out to get you. Particularly us. Of course, we have nothing better to do than be trodden on by some morbid, mouth breathing arsehole who spends slightly less time injuring himself on household items than he does jacking off to Rachel’s stiff nips on assorted episodes of “friends”. It’s not so fucking painless at this end you arrogant pricks.
Apparently every single one of you has a friend who ‘this one time stood on a plug so hard it went through his foot!’ Well every single one of us has a friend who has had to spend more time than he wanted inside an abominable chunk of fat-ridden flesh because of your moronic mates.
Actually, this one time, a guy trod on me so hard that he bent my prongs about 60 degrees. I’ll just have to remember next time to not leave myself upturned in the middle of the room. You poor souls.