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Politics

Published on May 21st, 2017 | by Flipside

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Fresh-Faced 19 year old Looking Forward to Potential Disenfranchisement

Having today registered to have their say in the governance of the country, a first-time voter is now looking forward to years of potential disenfranchisement.

Hailing from a historically Tory area in Oxfordshire, the liberal first year Humanities student was considering voting for Labour in their Edinburgh term-time constituency, until realising they were also fucking shit in Scotland, probably more so.

When asked for current intentions Erin Ireland said,

‘Well I’m originally from Wantage, which is occupied mostly by old people who miss the ‘good old days’ of the British Empire. They didn’t like immigrants then either to be fair, but when they talk about them now they say things like ‘at least those ones loved the Queen’. They also hate anyone claiming benefits, despite all kicking up shit at the slightest insinuation of a cut to state pensions (not that they actually need, still take it though) and defending Conservative MPs to the hilt when their expenses are published. They also like to use the term ‘EUSSR’. So unfortunately Labour are seen as communist agitators in those parts.

‘So I was looking forward to voting Labour in Scotland, but no one seems to have really heard from them round here recently. And if I vote SNP then when I go home after university Scotland might be independent and I’ll be stuck with all those old middle-Englanders I just mentioned. It’s a pickle.’

‘Still they will die off of course, so if not in the short-term, then in the long-term people like me registering will make a difference. Fingers crossed for a very cold winter to knock a few more of them off the perch!’

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