SK8R LIFE INSURANCE (SK8) ✖ STOCK SUSPENDED
EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY STUDENTS ASSOCIATION (EUSA) ▼-2005.21
ALEX SALMOND’S HAIR ▼ 230.067
CONSERVATIVE & UNIONIST NATIONAL TWEED CO (CUNT) ▲69.99
LADS, INC (LAD)▲1783.44
NATIONAL ASSOCIATION ZOCIALIST, INC (NAZI)▼2.48
BEDLAM THEATRE GROUP (BT) ▲ 5.74
EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY CREDIBILITY (UC) ▼ 1.000567
PETER HIGG’S SWAG ($G) ▲∞
BOTECO (BOT) ▲ 456.34
AVERAGE AGE IN TEVIOT (OLD) ▲ 67.45
PANDA CHILDCARE UK PLC (PCU) ✖ STOCK SUSPENDED
MILEY CYRUS EDINBURGH FAN CLUB (TWERK)▲ 42.67
DIRECTION OF NOSES UPON MENTION OF EDINBURGH NAPIER (NOZ) ▲ 90.00
EXAM PERFORMANCE IN MCEWAN HALL (STARE) ▼ 11.000567
TEVIOT CHIPS (SHIT)▼ 56.23

Commentary

Published on October 3rd, 2015 | by Flipside

0

“One Can Simply Walk Into Mordor”: Study Finds

A recent study on Middle Earth tourist routes has found that “One can simply walk into Mordor”, and in fact many do.

With over 40,000 people a year flocking to Mount Doom, Boromir’s statement recorded in the documentary series, ‘The Fellowship of the Ring’, now appears foolish. Indeed ,it may have been that the comment was made in order to dent Mordor’s tourist numbers and increase revenue for the rival attraction of Minas Tirith.

Visit Gondor have denied the allegations.

A spokesperson, Mr D. Enathor commented, “Look, we are not trying to take tourists from Mordor, it is a shithole, the Free People of Middle Earth have so much more to offer than that corporate prick Sauron, and in fairness one cannot simply walk into Mordor, you must pay an outrageous fee just to get through the gate and then the price of Lembas bread in there is unbelievable.”

Naturally the study found that the Horse Lords of Rohan had sustained losses again, losing business to Isengard which has recently opened Orthanc tower to the public, whilst simultaneously blocking the Gap of Rohan in a legal dispute which seems unsolvable.

The Shire and Hobbiton have also seen severe drops in revenue. With New Zeeland building full scale models of the shire, people don’t really feel the need to travel across time, space and reality just to see a hobbit hole.

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on RedditEmail this to someone

Tags: , , , ,


About the Author



Comments are closed.

Back to Top ↑