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Entertainment

Published on January 31st, 2017 | by Flipside

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Oscars Reluctantly Admit the Existence of Ethnics

TINSELTOWN – In a shocking upset from their decades of white mediocrity, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has broken new ground by admitting that non-white filmmakers exist. With the recent nomination of Barry Jenkins masterwork Moonlight, the film adaptation of the 1985 classic Fences, and the film literally about erasure, AMPASS has begun a new era of at least nominating black American filmmakers.

‘We’re really happy with ourselves,’ the head of the Academy told Flipside. ‘At last we can’t be called racially exclusive in a hashtag. Now MacArthur recipient Tarrell McCraney can join the hallowed ranks of Mel Gibson, Woody Allen, and Roman Polanski.’

At the other end of the conference room, the 142-year-old  D.W. Griffith hacked, ‘That’s fine but they still have to play slaves or be magic.!’

‘Yes that is the unfortunate reality,’ the spokesperson told me. ‘Well this was a profitable meeting, do you want a sound editing award? We’re giving them out like candy.’

‘What about Hispanic-American or Asian-American filmmakers?’ Flipside asked.

‘You mean there are more?!’ the Academy said.

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