SK8R LIFE INSURANCE (SK8) ✖ STOCK SUSPENDED
EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY STUDENTS ASSOCIATION (EUSA) ▼-2005.21
ALEX SALMOND’S HAIR ▼ 230.067
CONSERVATIVE & UNIONIST NATIONAL TWEED CO (CUNT) ▲69.99
LADS, INC (LAD)▲1783.44
NATIONAL ASSOCIATION ZOCIALIST, INC (NAZI)▼2.48
BEDLAM THEATRE GROUP (BT) ▲ 5.74
EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY CREDIBILITY (UC) ▼ 1.000567
PETER HIGG’S SWAG ($G) ▲∞
BOTECO (BOT) ▲ 456.34
AVERAGE AGE IN TEVIOT (OLD) ▲ 67.45
PANDA CHILDCARE UK PLC (PCU) ✖ STOCK SUSPENDED
MILEY CYRUS EDINBURGH FAN CLUB (TWERK)▲ 42.67
DIRECTION OF NOSES UPON MENTION OF EDINBURGH NAPIER (NOZ) ▲ 90.00
EXAM PERFORMANCE IN MCEWAN HALL (STARE) ▼ 11.000567
TEVIOT CHIPS (SHIT)▼ 56.23

Commentary

Published on May 5th, 2016 | by Flipside

0

Our Sabbs’ Five Best Features

  1. From the J to the R to the T it’s President for Life Joanna Rosanne Tatu. Oh Jonny we love your name, there’s just so much we can do with it. It’s like a pseudonym Kama Sutra when we’re with you.

‘Say my name, say my name. You actin’ kinda shady, ain’t callin’ me baby. Why the sudden change?’

  1. ‘Hey Girl If I had a hammer I’d smash the patriarchy.’ And with those arms Andy you could do it in a heartbeat. In fact our hearts can’t stop beating here at Flipside when we catch sight of them. Imagine them wrapped around you, you’d feel safer than a toddler in a Volvo in the slow lane.

‘You put your lovin’ arms around me and it feels like shelter. And you put your lovin’ arms around me and inside your arms I’m burning. Put your lovin’ arms around me. And you whisper to me when you put your lovin’ arms around me. And inside this love I’m yearning.’

  1. She loves us and we love her. Oh Urte let us build you a barricade. Let us be Nadezhda Krupskaya to your Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov. Let us unite and lose our chains! Although we can keep them in the cupboard, y’never know they might come in handy!

‘The lady in red is dancing with me, cheek to cheek, There’s nobody here, it’s just you and me, It’s where I want to be, But I hardly know this beauty by my side, I’ll never forget the way you look tonight.’

  1. Imogen, Oh Imogen. You don’t take no for an answer and we love that about you. Whether it’s making it easier to get extensions for special circumstances (Seriously well done on that one!), or winning the heart of that special guy. You wear your heart on your sleeve for us to all see! C’mon, give us a wave!

‘Hands up, baby, hands up, Gimme your heart, gimme, gimme your heart, Give it, give it, Hands up, baby, hands up, Gimme your heart, gimme, gimme, All your love, all your love.’

  1. Patrick Garrett, he’s got a cheeky smile like the Artful Dodger the little scamp that he is. Ok, we know he’s not a sabb officially yet but he came into the Flipside office with a tray of steak bakes for us all and asked us to start writing about him. Jeez, Pat your time will come!

‘So just remember to smile smile smile. Smile smile smile. Smile smile smile. C’mon show us your teeth and what you got underneath.’

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on RedditEmail this to someone


About the Author



Comments are closed.

Back to Top ↑