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Politics

Published on September 28th, 2016 | by Flipside

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What the Sabbs got up to on their summer holiday

In an attempt to prove that Sabbs are human beings as well, Flipside decided to research their summer holidays as a way of showing that they can be ‘regular students’ as well. What we discovered will shock and amaze you (not really).

Alec ‘Edgie’ Johnson

During an all American road trip, a stoned out hippie told him that he did a great Humphrey Bogart impression, and as a result he hasn’t stopped doing it since. He was able to utilise his 1950s era fighting style to stop a drunk Jonny Badumadum-Tatum from recapturing the EUSA office during the Atomic Kitten concert.

Patrick Garratt

Patrick used the summer holidays as an opportunity to run for leadership of the UKIP. He came third, having been beaten by Diane James and Postman Pat. He is currently plotting a coup to oust President Johnson and his massive mandate.

Jess Husbands

Jess was tried for crimes against humanity in the Antarctic Court of Justice. The charges were later dropped after it was proved that penguins are not humans. She is currently under investigation by the CIA and Cincinatti Zoo for the killing of a Jacob A. Harambe.

Jenna Kelly

Jenna did something with the banana plantation from the election last summer. What she did, we haven’t really figured out. We don’t know that much about her to be honest, we just assumed you would’ve stopped reading by now. If you could just use your imagine to pretend that we wrote something funny, that’d be great. We’re sure she’s lovely, please don’t hate us.

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