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Politics

Published on May 16th, 2017 | by Flipside

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EUSA to replace Sports Bar with Politics Bar

In a press release today, EUSA announced that from the 25th of May, the Sports Bar in Teviot will stop showing sports matches as it undergoes a planned refurbishment to transform it into the ‘EUSA Politics Bar’. According to EUSA sources, the new bar will show BBC Parliament throughout the day, and during the evenings showcase highlights from previous EUSA elections.

Speaking to Flipside, EUSA President-elect Patrick ‘Theresa May’ Kilduff said: “After extensive marketing research of the student population, we’ve discovered that the majority of students don’t actually use the Sports Bar because they don’t really care about watching major sporting events. As a result, we’ve decided to turn it into a 24 hour politics bar. Hopefully this should mean that our students receive a better political education while engaging more with their Student Association”.

Flipside also approached EUSA VPS Jenna Kelly who was more candid with us about EUSA’s plans. “Frankly, we just hope that students watch the news, get even more disillusioned than usual, and buy more pints. It’s a win-win situation for us”.

Reporters from The Student Newspaper were baffled by this announcement, as they didn’t realise that it was possible to learn about politics from sources other than Twitter or Facebook

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