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Published on May 28th, 2017 | by Flipside

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Barack Obama Ejected from Big Cheese

Friday night saw the last Big Cheese of the academic year, and in attendance was a special guest, the 44th President of the United States, Barack Obama. Obama, previously revealed by Flipside to be planning on attending the university, had decided to attend Le Grande Fromage to get a taste of what the next four years’ worth of Saturday nights will offer him.

However, he has already suffered a setback and awaits news regarding a possible ban from EUSA venues after being removed from the premises around 2am.

Eyewitnesses said he insisted on being referred to as ‘Brobama’, and kept trying to get the DJs attention in a forlorn attempt to have Blurred Lines played.

One member of security said,

‘We had received numerous complaints regarding a gentleman continuously minesweeping in the Venue. Upon arrival Obama had two Diesels and 3 VKs on his person, but all the drinks appeared to have been previously drunk from.’

‘He was also shirtless, I asked him to put his t-shirt back on but he was insistent on going ‘taps aff’. A phrase I believe he had newly-acquired earlier that day on the Meadows. At that point, he was escorted from the building.’

Obama was later spotted in the queue at Scotmid with a Sara Lee chocolate cake, a packet of cheese slices. two sausage rolls and an original glass bottle of Irn Bru.

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