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Politics

Published on October 31st, 2015 | by Flipside

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Putin Has Finally Matched with Assad on Tinder

Vladimir Putin has finally settled down and committed by swiping right to his hunky, right-wing beau, Bashar al-Assad. Assad put out all the stops to catch his fierce and beefy autocratic stud: he super-liked him. The intensity of the commitment is meant to be part of why Putin agreed to, following their match, let Assad visit him in Moscow recently.

Flipside can also exclusively reveal that Putin was in talks with Gideon Oliver (George) Osborne after seeking him out for relationship advice. Osborne is a well-cited Tinder success story having met his long-term partner David Cameron back in 1990 on the app. We reached out to Osborne’s press office for comment, to which their reply was: “It just comes down to instinct. You see a person’s photo on Tinder and you instinctively know whether or not you’d take them home to your parents. With Cameron, Osborne knew straight away. That is what Osborne told Putin.”

Whether not the relationship will go beyond their romantic getaway to Putin’s dacha in Siberia is unknown. What is known is that their love story does have the potential for greatness with their shared love of the suppression democracy, bombs, war, secret police and huskies. Flipside can only hope that they can be inspired by the success of Cameron and Osborne and be yet another example that Tinder helps lonely souls find true love.

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