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Commentary

Published on May 19th, 2016 | by Flipside

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Queen Uses Speech As Opportunity To Air Sick New Diss Track

 In one of her few annual speeches, Queen Elizabeth II took the opportunity to unveil her sick new diss track in front of an astounded crowd. The track, Produced by Dr. Dre and Slick Rick, sees Her Majesty takes aim at Cameron, Corbyn, Beyonce, Jay-Z, Adele, Drake, Chris Martin, the Kardashians, Kate Middleton, referee Mark Clattenburg, director Judd Apatow and a number of surprisingly specific ethnic groups.

After the success of her debut 2012 album ‘Watch The Throne’, The Queen went on a creative hiatus, refusing to grant press interviews and remaining secretive about future projects. However, the new track did not disappoint, its gravitas matched by her bravura performance on the Balcony of Buckingham Palace, resplendent in the full crown jewels. Special mention must go to the expletive-laden verse about her son, Prince Charles, none of which unfortunately we are allowed to print.

It concluded to rapturous applause, as she left the balcony to howls for an encore. She returned after 5 minutes, screaming ‘This bitch still got it! 90 years old baby and Nana Windsor still got that bidniz’, while everyone in the audience pretended they weren’t incredibly uncomfortable. However, she won the crowd over with an unexpected encore, as Dr. Dre joined her on stage for a medley of Tender by Blur and The Next Episode, from collaborator Dre’s masterpiece 2001, concluding with the message ‘Smoke Weed Every Day.’ The Queen then executed a flamboyant mic-drop, giving one lucky reveller below a concussion.

Fans are expecting an album release date any day now.

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