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World

Published on June 9th, 2017 | by Flipside

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President Alec Edgecliffe-Johnson to seek the path of enlightenment

In his final week at EUSA, President Alec Edgecliffe-Johnson has announced that he intends to wander the desert for the next 40 years in his quest to find the true meaning of ‘The Edge’.

Speaking exclusively to our Flipside reporter, Edgecliffe-Johnson announced that “While previously I thought I would be able to purify and absorb the true meaning of ‘The Edge’ by juicing the former U2 bandmate of Bono and drinking the magical solution that this process would have created. However, I had some sense knocked into me when his security detail kicked me in the head. Repeatedly.”

“My quest to achieve enlightenment of The Edge was revealed to me during those beatings, where the great Buddha of the Edge, Mel Gibson, revealed that I must live in the Great Desert of Tokyo for 40 years until I can reach enlightenment.”

When it was pointed out that Japan doesn’t have any deserts, Alec winked to our reporter before whispering into his ear “We can make Japan into whatever we want babe.”

Our reporter blushed repeatedly before taking Alec up on his offer, leaving the UK 4ever in search of anime enlightenment

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