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Politics

Published on February 4th, 2016 | by Flipside

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Rand Paul Quits Presidential Race To Pursue Career in Porno

Former Republican hopeful Rand Paul has suddenly and without warning dropped out of the race for his party’s presidential nomination. His supporters are claiming this is due to a disappointing showing in the Iowa caucuses, but sources closer to the man believe it is to do with a proposed change in career.

“My name is too fabulously sexual for me not to pursue a career in the world of adult video-making”, claimed the former White House hopeful. “The first series of Randy Paul’s Cock and Balls will be on your screens in the fall. In a continuation of my political career, I will be fucking mainly the poor and ethnic minorities, so my fans can expect more of the good ol’ Paul they know and love”

Flipside cannot officially confirm that one of the Democratic nominees will be launching a rival show titled ‘Bernie’s Sandy Asses’. 

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