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Sports

Published on March 22nd, 2014 | by Flipside

0

Referee sends off all Oxlade-Chamberlain lookalikes

In an extraordinary move during the top of the table showdown between Premier League leaders Chelsea and third placed Arsenal, referee Andre Marriner sent off every player who apparently resembled Oxlade-Chamberlain in the 17th minute.

It all began when the Ox commendably handled the ball to prevent a corner, an incident the referee reacted immediately towards by reaching towards his chest pocket for a red card. However, confusion ensued when the referee was unaware of precisely which player had committed the offense.

He then proceeded to take action by dismissing everyone who it may have been with Sagna, Gibbs, and Oxlade-Chamberlain all given their marching orders. The FA has also subsequently issued 3 game suspensions to Sanago and Gnabry, both on the bench at the time, as well as handing out the same punishment to the currently injured Walcott as well as 17 year old Zelalem, whose only cap for Arsenal came in the FA Cup 2 months ago.

The FA has since released a statement claiming they are certain the incident will not innocuously affect their controversial ‘say no to racism’ stance. Sol Campbell, living in his deranged parallel universe where he’s England captain, agreed.

 

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