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Sports

Published on July 1st, 2014 | by Flipside

0

Scotland to win World Cup

In a shock twist Scotland has emerged as a front runner to lift the world’s most prestigious footballing trophy.

In an interview with STV News, SNP leader Alex Salmond told Scots that now Scotland’s oppressors England are out of the World Cup, he believes Scotland will be able to progress to the final stages of the competition and lift the Jules Rimet Trophy.

England captain Bobby Moore was the last Briton to lift the cup in 1566, receiving the trophy from Queen Elizabeth I at Wembley after his team defeated the Holy Roman Empire in extra time in the final.

Salmond dismissed “fishy” claims that Scotland had not qualified for the World Cup, and stated that he was confident that FIFA would allow Scotland to join the competition at the semi-final stage.

Although political and sporting commentators have highlighted widespread apathy among most nations about such a move, opposition has been led by the Spanish, whose football team also failed to qualify for the knock out rounds of the tournament. King Felipe VI of Spain said, “Messi plays for Barcelona, so he should also play for Spain.”

FIFA President Sepp Shatter responded to speculation saying, “Documents granting FIFA exploration rights to Scottish oil fields do not exist. It does not surprise me that they have not been mentioned until now.”

At time of writing Jack Warner, President of CONCACAF, was on scuba diving holiday in Aberdeen and could not be reached for comment.

University of Edinburgh Vice-Chancellor Sir Timothy O’Shea said, “I look forward to seeing Edinburgh alumnus Chris Hoy in action in Brazil.”

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